I want the men to answer this.

I remember crisp and clear, driving past Tropicana that afternoon

My ex said to me…
“Can you spend one day going to play golf with me?”
So I say,
“Maybe one day. Not yet.”

He frowns… and starts going into a frenzy of why I can’t get out of bed early one day to spend sometime learning how to enjoy the sport.

“I want my future wife to go out with me and enjoy putting in the greens with me.”

“So does that mean I expect my future companion to enjoy making earrings with me? That’s not fair is it?”


Despite so much of a difference that he was more outdoors and I was more of an indoor person, we lasted quite a long time. Until it got to a point where things didn’t work out.

Does it really matter that the person you love had the same interests that are important to you?

If so, minishorts would have to be totally in to car mods, and Jolene’s bf would have to start an earring collection of his own?

And yet, I don’t remember ridiculing the ideas and fascinations of my ex. I strongly remember I was empathetic. I did encourage him to take me out to his tennis tournaments but he didn’t really want me to be there.

Our common path prolly crossed to as much as when it came to movies, that's was as close as it got. At least it was something.

I'm sure it's fun sharing that common bond. But do you believe your other half can actually be a stimulating person who would have a 100% understanding of what you hold important without having to say a word from the start? Is that even possible?


So i asked this couple who just celebrated their 50th anniversary, the man holds on to his wife sitting bounded by Alzheimers...

"Por por, Kung Kung, to this day do you completely understand each other?"

"Oh no, she has her interests and I have mine, I just live knowing she is there for me but I have to make sure I still tell her and she still tells me what we both think and feel... even if she forgets, I'll remind her"

Some people are probably going to use this as a reason to counter me....


Jason said...

Nope, it doesn' matter to me. After all, each of us are two different human beings and we have our interest. I don't think I want my gal to spend 16 hours in front of the computer just to read/write blog, chat and surf aimlessly; which I enjoy doing. I don't mind participating in her activities, but I would not force her to enjoy/attend to my activities. After all, there are many more ways/things to do if I want to spend the "quality" time with her. :)

Mei said...

It helps to have SOME similarities but only in the things that count - outlook on life, thoughts and principles about money/family/children/career/marriage/relationships and etc.

You don't need to have the same interests and hobbies - variety is the spice of life. However, you have to be understanding and open to trying new things in such a relationship.

My boy is very into rugby whereas I'm not really game for those kind of things BUT I keep up with the game when he wants to watch a match and I make sure that he understands that I had a good time watching him play rugby even though he thinks I was bored. Assurance and support helps as well as talking about it. :)

Anonymous said...

it really depends on the individual
like your ex, he expects you to understand him,
and also has an expectation for you to share the same interest..
and some more sensitive, in their opinion, you dont want to understand or take an interest in what they like, share hobbies.. etc etc...

some others, like the 50 year old couple.. understanding enough
and when both side are like such, of course things can work out =)

my personal opinion,
similar interest makes things sooooooooo much easier
you could always take on an interest but urgh..
if you share a liking for a same hobby.. that's just so great
it really kicks of so many problems

you get along better with someone similar =)
btw, me and my bf.. huh world of difference =`(

- cheryl
(the one that likes food)

kate said...

the key is respect for both similarities and differences. otherwise u might as well marry ur clone.

take care dear. I like how you think.

Bengster said...

Opposite characteristic means a more complete combination. Makes life more interesting.