Then there are some things

Somethings which I've never said, things that I've never done....

There are also those that I've said and done, but I shouldn't have....

I'm terribly stubborn. I refuse to budge from where I am. Because now, I really don't want to move on yet. Or else...I'm going to forget.
And I don't want to forget...because at that time it was ...symphony. And forgetting is running from it.

I'm a blender of sentiments. Mostly confusion and frustration. Things I want the other to know, but I somehow brushed away

There is so much now that is building up inside, layers of emotions, feelings and words stacking up. I fear it hits my peak. I don't know what I want either...

It's ironic, truly, how alike we are in someways and yet we're not exactly the same.

I'm aware, I still have a responsibility to look after those who care so very much about the state I'm in now. I'm really sorry I can't recover as quickly as I should. I need time.

People are wondering why I can't get a move on, some people ask, some others know;

I myself am still questioning myself...why?


Anonymous said...

I sorta understand how you are feeling. I am not saying I know, because I obviously don't, but I just want you to know that someday you will look back on this and view this as a beautiful memory that made you what you will be, and you will cherish it because it made you a much more beautiful and stronger person.

rainmaker said...

I get you totally. I am stubborn too. I mean, how does it feel when your bf, who often tells you that he loved you as much as he did before was actually lying when you asked "Do you love me as much as you did last time?" All these while, his answer was yes. BUT recently over an argument, he said "NO, not anymore and now u know the truth" It makes you wonder which is worse - he lying, or he not loving u as much. Also, if he had meant what he said. Common sense tell me to just dump the guy. But something else says to hold on a lil' while longer.:)