Lest I realise

You know, I've forgotten how to appreciate.

Yes, yes. by all reasons we all should be demanding?

"Who wants to be my friend or at least be graced by my presence??? Ohh..I don't know. Urm, Well, I'll tell you why, cause I'm elite, everybody loves me so you should sign your name down there and que in this waiting line that goes back all the way down this hill."

When I was SO ignored before, I just wanted the attention. I craved it. The attention from anyone at least! But I always craved attention from the people I wanted it from. I've picked up a bad habit of not listening to people at times cause at one point, all the people that came rambling and ranting to me; I just SO was not interested in knowing what they had to say. But yes, I tried my hardest to digest their business, made it mine. In exchange for company.

When I got the people I wanted to hang with..It was so hard to make them notice i was there. I became the person rambling and ranting. I practially did their chores for them and went out of my way for their company. Know what??

Yes, yes.

I'm not wanted.

AND THEN it breaks you. and then I become a super barred up emotionally sensitive freak that every little thing that puts a tickle to my heart makes me burst like a dam being hit by a missile.

Now comes a time when I see that people need me and I'm not there. Makes me feel like the bloody support army that bloody wasn't there to fix their bloody dams. So yes, again I will go damn far, climb any mountain, swim any sea (don't expect me to cross the ocean unless I have the logistics to) for them.

And now with someone so special. Silly April, I shudn't have complained so much when I was taken there even against my own will. I'm going to note this gesture down and
for him, I would decorate his dam with flowers and beautiful graffiti if i have to :D