Macho Excuses

Hard to believe, but these dialogues are true. Silly, but priceless situations...identities of these men have been censored.

Scenario 1: Placing an order for cold chinese tea in Penang.

Macho male: I'll go anywhere to eat, except that coffee shop around the bend.

Female: Why not that coffee shop?

Macho male: Cause the last time I used the Klang Valley Hokkien instead of the local Penang Hokkien to order.
Female: So?

Macho male: I don't want to sound stupid.

Scenario 2: Girlfriend needs to go to the ladies after shopping.

Female: Can you hold my bags?

Macho male: I'll hold everything except the bags from Naf Naf, Body Shop and your hand bag.

Female: Why not?

Macho male: Cause they make me look sissy-fied.

Scenario 3: Female tries to cheer up macho male.

Female: Hey, you look down, are you okay?

Macho male: Yes. I have problems but I'm not going to tell you.

Female: I'm here for you if you need me.

Macho male: I still won't tell you. I'm a man who can handle his problems.

Female: Okay, but if you need me just tell me, I'll try to help you.

Macho male: Thanks, but I still won't tell you that I had my tie the other way round.

Female: Alright... *walks away...he doesn't need help for such a lousy reason*

Scenario 4: Male gets a note for parking two spaces stuck to his windscreen.

Female: It's alright, things like that happen, why don't you go over to your girlfriends house to enjoy yourself?

Macho male: No, I might accidentally blurt out what happened today.

Female: Why don't you want to tell her? She's already upset that you've been ignoring her lately.

Macho male: I want her to think that her boyfriend is not that stupid to take two parking spaces and that I am definitely a skilled driver.

Scenario 5: Couple on the road and macho male gets pissed off by a fellow driver on the road.

Macho male: Damn that driver, it must be a woman driver.

Female: *Catching up with offending car at the traffic light* Whaddaya know...it's a man.

Macho male: Must have been his grandmother that thought him how to drive.

Scenario 6: Female and male are looking for something to do.

Female: Oooh I know, let's go ice skating!

Macho male: I don't want.

Female: Why?

Macho male: I only wanna do things I'm good at or I'll mess up and look goofy.

Scenario 7: Female and macho male are playing street fighter in player vs mode.

Macho male: HAH! You lost again even if i picked the lousiest character! Care to take me on another few rounds? But i won't be so easy on you this time with the best character.

Female: Ok. I'll try my best.

*Female suddenly wins that round of battle*

Macho male: *Throws the controller in a fit* I'm not playing anymore.

Female: Why? I only won one round...

Macho male: I want that to be the only time in my life I lost to a female.