Elongated Buttocks

Sure, it's nice to be a tall girl. Long stair like legs that allow you to wear a purple frilly boho skirt without looking like a fat plum, innocently snatching the center of the camera in a group photo, having both girls and guys oogle wishing that the top of their scalp just skimmed your eye line. Heels add to the whole thing transforming you into a sort of model material.

Although now I wish, I had the 2/3rds lower part of my body proportionally aligned with the remains of my upper body...

or erm, I wish I wasn't the one usually 'sticking out' from a crowd,

ehhh emmm... I'm way passed the age to be proud of getting to enjoy amusement park rides because of my stature..

Ehhh, errmmm, ummm.... ahhh Bother...

I CONFESS!!

I HAVE A BIG BUTT!

MY ARSE IS SO HUGE I HAD TO CUSTOM MAKE MY SHORTS AND PINAFORE WHEN I WAS IN SECONDARY SCHOOL!!!

AND I STILL HAVE TO WEAR A SIZE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.


*Puts screaming alter-ego away, shoves it and gathers her behaved-self*

There. So now you know it.

It brings me to tears to not only accept that my child-bearing assets have expanded horizontally from lack of exercise, over binging and genetic traits. Yet I have to swallow the fact that my bottom does not look just like pudding, but a tower of JellO barely squashed between a so-called torso and a pair of King Kong legs.

I have bunchy crab-shell like buns.. flat, long, big and turns bright red when immersed in hot water.

Gwiehhh,.. 'scuse the inconsistent rambling.

I'm jealous of the petite sized girls..
i) Because I suffocate in a US size 4
ii) The look grab-able in the average human size palm
iii) They don't leave openings when seated on the toilet bowl
iv) They can wear cute mini skirts without looking like their purposely doing it

Dear new miniskirt, does that mean I will have to lose weight before you may sit nicely on my hips?

It's getting quite agitating to pull down my skirt each time I stand up or stepping on to a high ledge. :(

And now, you know the plight of the unproportionate tall chics.

One final word, if you ever meet me, please do not do an analysis on my butt :P