I think I'm too hard on myself sometimes. I want to take the blame for what ever fails me. I want to take responsibility for every parody that plays in my life.
Even though I knew things were getting sore, I wanted to push my patience a little more because I thought you would be worth the rewards. At least even if things don't work out, I would be able to tell myself that I've done all I could, and there isn't much I couldn't do anymore.
As of now, I wonder if I really gave it my all. I'm still doing it though, cause I can never leave a problem hanging when it's wrapped around my neck.
You know you're sore about the relationship when the wounds are still raw and pain to the slightest almost ino the significant touch. It doesn't take a direct stab to the heart or that painful choke by fist but by only which those actions that can't be seen hurt the most.
I found that out while trying to distract myself in a place where we spent almost every weekend together. Again, I was pushing myself, I wanted to face my devils, but they were there as memories to the deepest of details. And as I pass each square meter of the area,...
"What's wrong with you?"
"Oh nothing mom, just allergies, makes my eyes watery."
And now, I want to forget all these so badly. Forget them for now so they won't show up taunting my eagerness for moments past that I know for my own good, I can no longer have.
Now that I have them here, at least I would push myself to note the pain and hopefully in the future, gaze upon them as I smile as a reminder of the once precious past.